Wednesday, September 1, 2010

symphonic melodies and soothing decisions

A few weeks ago my Korean friend and I checked out the Busan Philharmonic Orchestra. It was amazing. They played Beethoven's Symphony No 2 in D Major op. 36 and Brahms Symphony No 3 in F Major op. 90.

My ticket was only around $9, so I was a little dubious to the quality of the performance, but lo and behold it was worth every penny and then some! No overpaid prima donna performers here to sustain!

It brought me back to all the elementary field trips I had as a child into Heinz Hall. I am so grateful for them. I never would have appreciated classical music if it hadn't been for those outings every year.

Which this then gets me to thinking about home. I would walk past Heinz Hall everyday when I worked in the Strip. My, it was almost a year ago when I worked there!

And I have already made an important decision about life.

I will never live in Pittsburgh again.

It's been hard, but I've had these months in Korea to think it through. And I'm not escaping painful memories of the place. I'd only lived there the year after I graduated college after spending five years in California. No, I have very happy memories, but they are the kind that will only make me sad to remember.
I have nothing there now, aside from my family and my very best friend in the world.

But when I compare to how I was in San Francisco to living there, or even here in Korea to back home, I grew and experienced so much more in these places than I ever did those 19 years of living there. I was very complacent, very comfortable there. And I have been shown that I can accomplish so many things, and that I can have many interesting experiences when I'm not relying on my family. Or is it being protected by them? I may not be able to live anywhere, but I can live anywhere I choose. And there is too much of the world to see before I can decide where to settle.

Pittsburgh, I loved you. Pittsburgh, you'll always be my home and with me. And I promise to visit. But you are no good for me and I'm going to have to find something that works better. I don't even want to settle down for good now. I want to live in a different place every 6 months!

Really, you're always in my heart. 'Til we meet again--



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